Sue Zann Toh

Recently a “Husband Superstore” opened where women could go to choose a husband. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended.

The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor. If you went up a floor, you couldn’t go back down except to leave the place, never to return.

A couple of women went to the shopping centre to find some husbands.

First floor: The door had a sign saying, “These men have jobs and love kids.” The women read the sign and said, “Well, that’s better than not having a job or not loving kids, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up they went.

Second floor: The sign read, “These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.” “Hmmm,” said the ladies, “but, I wonder what’s further up?”

Third floor: This sign read, “These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework.” “Wow,” said the women, “very tempting.” But there was another floor, so further up they went.

Fourth floor: This door had a sign saying “These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.” “Oh, mercy me,” they cried, “just think what must be awaiting us further on!”

So up to the fifth floor they went.

Fifth floor The sign on that door said, “This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please. The exit is to your left, we hope you fall down the stairs.”

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn’t feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say, “happy Birthday!”, and probably would have a present for me.

As it turned out, she didn’t even say good morning, let alone any happy birthday. I thought, well, that’s wives for you, the children will remember….

The children came in to breakfast and didn’t say a word.

So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent…

As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, “Good morning boss, Happy Birthday’. And I felt a little better that someone had remembered.

I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside, and it’s your birthday, let’s go to lunch, just you and me”.

I said, “By George, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. “Let’s go!” We went to lunch. We didn’t go where we normally go; instead we went out to a private little place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. on the way back to the office, she said, “you know, it’s such a beautiful day. We don’t need to go back to the office, do we?”

I said, “No, I guess not.” She said, “Let’s go to my apartment”.

After arriving at her apartment she said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable”.

She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake - followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends, all singing Happy Birthday.

And I just sat there, on the couch, naked…….