Sue Zann Toh

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said “WHAT????!!! What was that?!”

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear… “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realising that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her we’ll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.” I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled “WHAT???!!!” I then said, “Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either.

The last day of my birthday holiday. We had to check out by 10:00 am, so we woke up at about 8:00 am. You guessed it, we went for another dip in the jacuzzi. We didn’t stay in long because we were hungry for breakfast.

We checked out early and headed into the town center. Breakfast at Sail’s restaurant again, but this time we had our holiday favourite, bacon, eggs, toast, mushrooms, sausages and roasted tomatoes. The stuff heart attacks are made of.

After breakfast, we decided we had enough time for one more attraction in Margaret River before heading back to the “real” world. We went to the Eagle’s Heritage Raptor & Wildlife Center with the intention of attending the Free-flight display at 11:00 am.

We were about an hour early, plenty of time to walk around the park to see the raptors, eagles and other birds of prey. They were really incredible animals, beautiful and dangerous looking at the same time.

The Free-flight display was as much an educational talk as an awesome display of these birds. They are nature’s way of keeping the ecosystm free of sick and injured animals, but they are so misunderstood that they are hunted and killed instead of being protected. It’s sad to think that Western Australia is one of the few places in the world that doesn’t classify raptors and eagles as protected species.

After the introduction to the birds, for those in the audience who wanted to, they could head up and have the black kite sit on their hand. I was the first to volunteer. I was a little apprehensive, since the talons of these creatures could crush your hand if they wanted to, and yet, when they sit on your hand, they’re so gentle with their claws. They were also surprisingly light! I think the glove you had to wear was heavier than the bird itself. M also had his turn with the raptor on his hand. It was kind of cute, he was looking at the bird, and the bird was looking straight back.

We left for home after that. A 4 hour non-stop drive north back up to Perth.

More photos of our holiday can be found in the Birthday Holiday 2006 gallery.

This Irish beef stew recipe was modified from the recipe found at Elise.com’s Simply Recipes. Being a bit of a calorie counter, I couldn’t bear to use amounts such as “1/4 cup of olive oil” just to brown the beef! Just so you know, a quarter cup of olive oil has about 477 calories, or 1995 kilojoules.

So my own version of the recipe has been developed based on Elise.com’s recipe. Some other differences, other than the amount of fats used in the recipe, are that my version of the recipe has more beef and less potatoes.

Ingredients

• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• 6 large garlic cloves, minced
• 1 kg stew beef, cut into 1-inch pieces
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
• Salt and pepper to taste

Gravy Ingredients:

• 6 cups (1.5L) beef stock
• 1 cup of Guinness beer
• 1 cup of red wine
• 2 tablespoons tomato paste
• 1 tablespoon dried thyme
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• 2 bay leaves

Vegetables:

• 1 kg potatoes, peeled, cut into 1/2-inch pieces
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 2 cups carrots, 1/2-inch pieces peeled

Instructions

1. Heat 2 tablespoons olive oil in heavy large casserole/crock-pot over medium-high heat.
2. Add garlic and saute for 1 minute.
3. Add beef in 3 to 4 batches and saute until brown on all sides, about 5 minutes for each batch.
4. Add the Gravy Ingredients, ie, beef stock, Guinness beer, red wine, tomato paste, dried thyme, Worcestershire sauce and bay leaves.
5. Stir to combine. Bring mixture to boil then reduce heat to medium-low. Cover and simmer 1 hour, stirring occasionally.
6. While the meat and gravy stock are simmering, heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in another large pot over medium heat.
7. Add Vegetables (potatoes, onion and carrots) and saute until golden, about 20 minutes.
8. Add vegetables to beef stew and simmer uncovered until vegetables and beef are very tender, about 40 minutes.
9. Discard bay leaves. Add salt and pepper to taste.
10. Transfer stew to serving bowl, sprinkle with parsley and serve.

Suggestions

As with many stews, casseroles and curries, they taste better as left overs, so make a big pot and refrigerate the left overs for an extra tasty stew.

I had the intention to practice yoga on our beautiful deck in the morning. I planned to do this ever since we decided to go on this holiday. Well, as things don’t always go according to plan, I didn’t get any practice in during this weekend away. After the exhausting first day with the drive down south, horse riding and great food at Ze Arc of Iris, I couldn’t bring myself to crawl out of bed at the crack of dawn to practice. Instead, I had a nice sleep in before getting up for our next adventure, mountain bike riding.

Dirty Detours MTB Adventures were our hosts for this adventure. We were going mountain bike riding through the Boranup forest. We’ve been to the Boranup forest twice before by car, the first time was with the encounter with emus and the second time was during an extended a trip in 2005 (I still haven’t finished posting about that trip! There’s a lot to write!).

We were taking the easy ride, since neither my partner and I had gone “real” mountain bike riding, we thought it would be better to classify ourselves as beginners. We did some street riding over the summer, going out for an hour at a time and sometimes more, but this mountain bike riding was serious stuff.

We didn’t want to eat too much before the ride, we had a light breakfast at our favourite breakfast spot, Sails, then made our way to the Settlers Tavern, our meeting point with Dirty Detours.

Our guide drove us to the Boranup forest from the town center, about 20 to 30 minutes drive. The weather didn’t look too good, it was overcast, cloudy and cold. It rained pretty heavily on the way there, and we were worried about getting soaking wet. In the end, I was actually thankful that it was on the cooler side. We got gently drizzled on during the ride and it was quite nice, refreshing and cooling.

Once in the forest, we were armed with a mountain bike each, riding gloves, hydration pack, our own helmets (we’re fussy about helmets!) and a quick mountain bike riding lesson 101, then off we went. I felt like an utter spastic most of the time on a mountain bike! The guide kept trying to give me tips, and as my brain would have it, I would do the complete opposite of what she was telling me! Not on purpose, I’m just a spastic sometimes.

The downside of the riding was that M’s bike broke something just about 30 minutes into the ride. We were really starting to get into it when this happened. After spending close to an hour trying to fix the damn thing (Our guide wasn’t afraid of getting her hands dirty! Hence Dirty Detours, I suppose), we ended up getting it in a usable condition and moved on.

Our guide took us to the most awe-inspiring spot in the forest. You really feel small and insignificant among the huge karri trees. There were a few baby drops and really narrow paths, but nothing very difficult or scary. When something looked a little too much for me, I’d just get off and carry the bike over (or under) the obstacle.

I was afraid I wasn’t going to be fit enough for this ride, but I held up ok. In the end, the biggest learning for me was “Look where you DON’T want to crash”. The body has a funny way of following where your eyes are looking. I fell/crashed off the bike a total of half a dozen times or so and got scratched up and knocked about a bit. You can probably guess that I enjoyed our jacuzzi after that adventure!

After our relative short mountain bike riding experience, we headed back to Margaret River’s town center and had a nice, long, leisurely lunch at VAT 107, another one of our favourite restaurants in Margaret River.

After our long lunch, we headed back to our villa at Losari Retreat and sat in our outdoors jacuzzi for a few hours. The jacuzzi was fantastic and just what I needed after all that riding around in the forest. We pretty much didn’t leave the jacuzzi until we got ravenously hungry for dinner and headed back to the town center.

Our dinner spot was Goodfella’s Cafe. I use to remember their food as being quite good, but this time, it was really quite inedible. I had some sort of chili pizza thing, which sounded good, but I couldn’t eat more than one slice because it would burn my mouth. Now, I can eat some pretty hot and spicy foods, but this was ridiculous! I ended up forcing down 3 slices before giving up and having a sticky date pudding dessert.

No surprise, after dinner we were back at our villa… in the jacuzzi… again.

Many are probably not familiar with this, unless you’re Chinese. Kayang is a Chinese version of jam primarily made of coconut milk and a tonne of sugar. It’s spread over toast or any other bread and enjoyed just like jam, only tastier, that’s my opinion, but then again, I was brought up on the stuff so it might be an acquired taste thing.

I’ve never found Kayang at the groceries stores in Australia so if we ever wanted Kayang, we had to make it at home. Spurred on by a recent batch of Kayang from my folks, I decided to share our recipe.

Ingredients

• 1 can of coconut milk
• 1 can of eggs (ie enough egg to fill the coconut milk can)
• 2 cans of sugar (ie enough sugar to fill the coconut milk can twice)

Optional Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 1 tablespoon salt (or to taste)
• 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
• 2 pandan leaves (available from Chinese grocery stores)

Instructions

These are the full instructions and will include the use of all the optional ingredients.

1. In a large casserole pot, caramalise the 2 tablespoons sugar.
2. Once the sugar is caramalised, turn off the heat and allow to cool.
3. As the caramalised sugar is cooling, beat the 1 can of eggs lightly until well combined but not frothy.
4. Strain the beaten egg into a large bowl, don’t skip this step or you’ll end up with lumpy Kayang! (see below)
5. Add the rest of the ingredients to the large bowl and mix, that is:
   • 1 can coconut milk
   • 2 cans sugar
   • 1 tablespoon salt
   • 2 tablespoon lemon juice
   • 2 pandan leaves
6. Add the mixture from the large bowl to the large casserole pot with the cooled caramalised sugar
7. Put the large casserole pot over low heat and cook the mixture with continuous stirring for about 30 mintues, or until cooked. You’ll know that it’s cooked because the consistency will turn to honey.

Tips and Hints

The amounts of each main ingredients is not so important, it’s more important that the ratio of ingredients are maintained, which is 1:1:2 (milk:egg:sugar).

This is a rather easy recipe, but the trick to making great Kayang lies in the ability to avoid lumpiness. Kayang becomes lumpy when the egg in the recipe is instantly cooked. You need a lot of patience with this recipe if you want to end up with a good batch. Here’s some important tips and hints for smooth kayang:

• Don’t skip the straining of the beaten eggs
• Don’t be tempted to use medium or high heat to speed up the cooking process
• Don’t add the mixture in the large bowl to warm or hot caramalised sugar, this will instantly cook the egg and give you lumpy Kayang

Cooking Tips

Cocktail Recipes

• Caprioska Cocktail Recipe
• Cosmopolitan Cocktail Recipe

Deserts & Sweets

• Honey Walnut Caramels
• Raspberry & White Chocolate Muffins
• Baked Pineapple
• Kayang
• Raisin Nut Balls
• Tim Tam Slam
• Rice Bubble Cups Recipe
• Mars Bar Slice Recipe

Entrees & Snacks

• Congee
• Basic Frittata Recipe
• Potato Salad

Mains

• Spaghetti Bolognese
• Hungarian Beef Goulash
• Congee
• Basic Frittata Recipe
• Sweet Potato Risotto
• Veal with Eggplant and Mozzarella
• Irish Beef Stew

Side Dishes

• Potato Salad

We left on Saturday morning and made our way south to our lunch spot, the Other Side of The Moon Restaurant in Quay West Bunker Bay. We’ve been to that restaurant before and loved it so much we came back again. They have a beautiful view and great food and service. We shared a gourmet pizza, which was mouth-wateringly delicious, before continuing south towards Losari Retreat. We checked in the afternoon and after a quick introduction by one of our hosts, Jacky, we made our way to the horse riding place, Naturally Horsey.

Naturally Horsey is unique. It uses the natural horsemanship, also known as horse whispering, method of riding horses. It’s aim is to be able to ride a horse without a saddle or bridle or any other restraint. Obviously, this can be dangerous, so as beginners, we had a saddle and a natural bridle made of rope.

We spent the first hour with our horses before going for a trial ride. The hour was spent getting to know our horses. We started off brushing the horse and letting them smell us. My horse wasn’t very interested in me at first, but then decided to take a good whiff of me and left a lovely stain on my new white shirt!

We then moved onto playing some games with the horses, this was also a bit of training for us to learn how to control the horses in case something bad happened. It was also a great introduction into natural horsemanship as we played energy games with the horses. One of the games I distinctly remember was standing in front of the horse, looking directly at him, lifting the reins (made of natural rope) up in front of me, then tapping the reins with my fore finger and the horse would automatically start walking backwards! Neat party trick. When the horse did as he was “told”, I would then beckon him back to me and give him a good stroke on the neck.

My horse didn’t respect me very much at first, he was pushing and nudging me a lot and I had to learn to push him back and show him who’s boss. He eventually stopped trying his luck with me and we got along fine, for the most part.

At the end of the games, we had to mount our horse. The only other time I mounted a horse was with the aid of a platform, making the distance from the ground to the horse’s back less. This time, we had to mount our very big horses from the ground. I’m glad I do yoga, because it requires quite some flexibility and strength to get your leg in the right place and push up.

The trail ride itself was beautiful. It was so peaceful and quiet in the natural bush, and we even got pretty up close and personal with a kangaroo. My horse, like the last horse riding trip we took in Brookleigh, was slow. No matter how hard I was squeezing him, he just wouldn’t go any faster! The poor guide and my partner had to constantly stop and wait for me to catch up.

After the trail ride we had a shower to wash the horses off us, then jumped in the jacuzzi for a couple of hours. We didn’t really want to get out, but we had dinner reservations at Ze Arc of Iris, my favourite restaurant in Margaret River. The food at Ze Arc was fantastic as usual, thanks to Pascal et al. After dinner, it was back to our jacuzzi for a couple more hours, then bed. The next morning was going to be another adventure!

I just noticed that there’s a six month block where I just didn’t write a single word on here. That means I didn’t report on my birthday holiday.

I usually head off on a short holiday around the time of my birthday. The weather’s nice that time of year, it’s the end of summer and the beginning of autumn so it’s still warm but not scorching.

This year I got to plan my ideal holiday away. I decided I wanted to have a luxury time away with a little adventure in my favourite get-away destination, Margaret River. The adventure activities were going to be horse riding and mountain bike riding. Ok, so they’re not really that adventurous, but still…

The most important part of any of my holidays is the accommodation. As I said, this was going to be a luxury time away for me and my partner so it had to be romantic, tucked away in some hidden resort, but not too far from civilisation. After looking through what seemed like dozens of possible places to stay, and I mean dozens, you wouldn’t believe how many luxury accommodation there is in such a small area! Anyway, after looking through dozens of possible places to stay, I finally settled on Losari Retreat, a beautiful retreat with four different types of villas to choose from. Of course I had to go for the one named, “Endless Luxury Spa Villa” and as the name suggests, it’s seriously endless luxury.

It was a small house with wooden floors throughout, a big, beautiful, comfy bed, a gorgeous bathroom with two monsoon showers and dual sinks, one for him, one for her, a fully stocked kitchen with a deluxe coffee machine, a plasma television and best of all, an outdoor jacuzzi! Imagine that! A outdoor jacuzzi… not a spa… a jacuzzi, with constantly warm water always in the tub so you don’t have to refill the spa, just lift off the cover and jump in.

As I said, it was luxury, pure luxury, and I can’t wait to go back and spend another weekend there.

1. Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is using the computer.
2. Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
3. Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
4. Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as thou are not transparent.
5. Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.
6. Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human’s face.
7. Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors.
8. Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human’s lap.
9. Thou shalt not climb on garbage cans with hinged lids, as thou wilt fall in and trap thyself.
10. Thou shalt not reset thy human’s alarm clock by walking on it.
11. Thou shalt not jump onto a seat just as thy human is sitting down.
12. Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.
13. Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slow.
14. Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.
15. Thou shalt remember that thou art a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.
16. Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded. (yeh….as if!!)

As we all know, the next generation consoles are well on their way. Microsoft’s Xbox 360 was released in Australia on March 23rd, 2006, about 4 months after the Amercian, Europe and Japan release. Sony’s Playstation 3 is also on its way with a projected release date of the second half of 2006, some sources have cited September 2006, others have said November 2006, but nothing has been confirmed as yet.

We managed to hold off purchasing a Xbox 360 for all of one week before curiosity about the new console got the better of us. In the end, we forked out about $1000 (AUD of course) on a Premium Pack, an extra controller, an extra headset, a Play and Charge kit and the following games:

• Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter
• Kameo
• Perfect Dark Zero

I also bought a one year, Gold membership subscription to Xbox Live and it’s possibly the best $79.95 I’ve ever spent. I was never much of an online game player, but G.R.A.W. together with Live has definitely changed my mind.

Many countless sleepless nights have been lost to that game in multiplayer Live mode. It’s very addictive and very fun to shoot characters controlled by another human being, instead of the game’s A.I.. The headsets add another dimension to the Live play. It’s a thousand times more fun being able to communicate with other players around the world using the headset. It makes teamplay in Co-op missions and Team Elimination much more meaningful.

As for Kameo, it’s a very sweet and cute game but pales in comparison to G.R.A.W. The graphics are cute, the characters are cute. It’s just a cute game. I would almost call it a chick game. There’s nothing wrong with chick games, I’m a chick myself, and I did enjoy Kameo, I think I just prefer more grown up games.

I can’t even comment much on PDZ because the damn game freezes up at the same spot every time. We’ve exchanged the game and still no luck. We’ve exchanged the console and still nothing! We’ve played the same 5 minutes about a dozen times and we’ve pretty much given up on it. From the short 5 minutes we’ve been able to play, the game is very hectic. Lots of stuff going on and it’s very loud, almost relentless.

All in all, I can’t believe I’m saying it, but Microsoft and done a fantastic job with the Xbox 360. Now I can’t wait for the Playstation 3 to show what they can do!